Humorous Intimacy
by loverofakatsuki
Summary: There's no such thing as having great sex all the time, so the Akatsuki are going to play a shocking game in which they all reveal their worst sex stories that they've had with their lovers. No matter how embarrassing. Rated M: Yaoi,lemons,smut,crude humor,yuri
1. Chapter 1

"Remind me again why I'm here?"

Olivia was sulking at the table after being dragged into a heated argument between Deidara and Hidan, all about sex no less.

"I want you to fucking tell him that I can make you scream babe!" His lover's eyebrow twitched with irritation, "Why?" "Blondie doesn't fucking believe me!" Deidara snorted, "Why should I? I have yet to hear her scream un."

"SO! I don't fucking believe you topped Sasori and made him your bitch!" Perfect timing on Hidan's part as said man came into the kitchen with a deadly scowl. "What in hell are you two talking about sex for?"

Olivia just shook her head, "There's no telling but I rather not know why." **"I wouldn't mind hearing it."** They looked up to see Zetsu's head sticking out from the ceiling with a sly grin.

"There you are Zetsu! Why you hiding from Tobi again?" "I simply refuse to answer that sexual question Tobi and you won't leave it alone."

"What did you ask him Tobi un?" "Tobi just asked Zetsu what he did to Olivee on her period the other night." Olivia about choked on her drink and stared with wide eyes at the blushing bipolar man, "Do what to me?"

Hidan asked the same thing, "You don't know babe?" "No clue but, does this have something to do with me taking a sleeping pill by any chance?"

Zetsu chuckled a little and sank back into the ceiling, leaving the blonde turning red also. "Looks like he violated you again to satisfy his blood lust un."

Tobi suddenly grinned, "Tobi has an idea." Sasori sat down and mumbled, "What might that be?"

"Let's play a game where we tell our….ahem….worst sex stories that our lovers did with us."

* * *

Hidan's mouth dropped but Madara was all for it. "Now this I got to hear." "Hear what?" Kisame came in followed by Kakuzu, "Tobi wants us to unleash our hidden worst sex stories!"

Kakuzu stared at Olivia like she was bluffing but apparently wasn't. He grumbled, "No." Itachi appeared out of nowhere and smirked, "Why not, it should be interesting and I am rather bored."

Kisame plopped down, "What the hell, I'm game." Zetsu emerged from the ground this time and nodded, **"Sounds interesting."**

Olivia glanced at the miser, who stood rooted on the spot and beckoned him over. He just snorted, "What's in it for me?"

Sasori grinned, "It'll be like on truth or dare; the one that refuses to tell has to pay up." Kakuzu's eyes glinted at the word and sat down with a thud.

Tobi giggled like crazy, "Tobi can't wait!" "Before we start, how did this come about?"

Olivia glanced at Madara, "Deidara and Hidan were having an argument about sex, so naturally the idea came up since we all have had bad sex incidences." "Why am I not surprised?"

"So who begins un?" "I guess I will."

All eyes turned to Sasori, "I didn't find this amusing at the time but I'll tell it anyhow."

* * *

_The artisans were heavily making out, grinding their heated bodies against each other with need. The red nibbled his way down the blonde's chest, biting the perky bud with his teeth before he heard a giggle._

_He glanced up at his lover's countenance to see a small silly grin spread across his charming features. He thought he must have tickled a nerve and shrugged it off. _

_Rubbing the palm of his hand across the hard length he growled in anticipation to please his brat. He just pulled down the hem of his boxers and licked the swollen head when more giggles hastily trying to be choked back._

_Slightly irritated the puppet master gave his lover a warning glare with his blonde murmuring, "Sorry Danna un." Not saying a word he went back to what he was doing._

_Sucking on the length with much need he was just about to probe his lover when Deidara suddenly burst out laughing. _

_Sasori sat up on his knees and crossed his arms angrily as the blonde continued to howl with laughter, clutching onto his aching sides._

"_WHAT is so funny brat?" "I…I…hic…It's nothing Danna un." "Apparently it IS something! Am I not meeting your expectations so much that you have the gall to laugh at me?" "I'm not…hic….laughing at you un!"_

_The red head just glared as the younger artisan tried to get his breath back. "I just thought of something funny that's all. It won't..hic…happen again un."_

_Sasori fixed his pants and crawled off the bed, "You're damn right it won't happen again because I'm not pleasuring you anymore today!"_

_Deidara whined, "Nooooo, please Danna I didn't mean to! Finish me un!" _

_"You can finish yourself with your comical thoughts."_

* * *

Sasori snorted once he was through, "That angered me to no end and to be honest I'm still sore about it. How would you feel if your lover started laughing while you were trying to make love?"

"**Point taken." **His blonde blushed before Itachi nudged him, "What _were_ you thinking about?"

His smirked a little, "For some reason Hidan's facial imitation of Kisame just popped into my head and I couldn't shake it un."

Kisame glared at the jashinist, "So you're imitating me now Hidan? Is there something wrong with my face?"

Said man just smirked, "You're not that special; I fucking made fun of everyone here and imitated their faces."

Tobi laughed, "That was terrible, sempai was thinking about Hidan while he was with Sasori." Hidan chuckled, "Blondie couldn't help it, he finds me sexy."

"Yeah yeah, I want you so bad Hidan un." Hidan licked his lips, "Really, then how about you and I play fucking twister?"

Kakuzu thumped his lover's ear with a smirk, "Down boy."

Olivia patted Sasori on the shoulder, "I hate that happened Sasori but it could have been worse."

Deidara spat, "Yeah, like what Danna did! You think what I did was so bad just wait and hear what he did to me un!"

This is going to be a hilarious game no doubt about it.

**TBC:**


	2. Chapter 2

Sasori just smirked at his lover, who was already getting angry from his flashback with what he's about to tell them.

"_Deidara, how would you like to try a new sex move?" The blonde muttered, "Like what un?" _

_Sasori just purred seductively into his ear, "It's called the angry dragon; I've been dying to try it."_

_His brat cocked a brow curiously, "I've never heard of that before. How do you do it un?" _

_Nibbling on the shell of his ear his lover murmured, "All you have to do is suck me off until I surprise you. Don't worry; I'll let you know when."_

_The pleading look from those brown orbs won the blonde over and he agreed, however, what he didn't know was an evil scheme going through the red head's mind._

_The blonde began pleasuring his lover, sucking him off happily and being rewarded with low moans from his lover, curious to what this surprise is going to be. _

_Sasori gripped the blonde locks, grinning like crazy since he was about to release and murmured with glee, "I'm coming brat, get ready!" _

_He just released his semen in his lover's mouth when he unexpectedly smacked the back of Deidara's head down on his cock, thus blocking his airway passage and making him cough._

_Unfortunately when that happened, the cum came out through his nose as well as his mouth. Deidara began coughing harshly and snapped, "What the hell was that Danna un?" _

_Sasori couldn't help but smirk at his angry expression, "The angry dragon brat." _

_Before he could complain he clarified, "Your countenance is red from your obvious anger and have cum dripping out your nostrils, thus resembling an angry dragon." _

"_AGHHH! That's not fucking right Danna! Do you have any idea how much this hurts un?"_

* * *

Deidara glared the entire time at his lover before snorting, "Apparently not since he didn't care enough to make sure I was alright un."

Sasori frowned slightly, "How many times do I have to apologize, besides, you were not injured from it." "I was too! It fucking burned and my nose was raw for a damn week un!"

Olivia felt his pain as did the others until she noticed her lovers smirking at her.

Glaring at them she muttered, "Don't you even think about it."

Chuckling, they said nothing and glanced at Zetsu who broke the silence. "I have to agree with Deidara on that one Sasori, that wasn't very nice."

**"At any rate, I want to express my time with Tobi."**

The boy blushed like crazy as his lover spoke.

* * *

_Tobi and Zetsu were about to make love, but, it proved to be rather difficult at the time. Zetsu simply couldn't get the boy to stop talking. _

_Nibbling on his neck, he wandered his hands all over his lover, tweaking his nipples and gained a squeak in response_

"_Ah…Zetsu…..what should Tobi get Itachi for Christmas?" Growling into his neck the bipolar man muttered, __**"I don't know."**_

_"Tobi thinking about getting him some new kunai but he doesn't really need them, so now I'm thinking about getting him a movie."_

"_Mmmhmm."_

_His lover couldn't care less right now, he was trying to prepare his lover for his aching erection that needed to be enveloped by his hot core._

_Licking the hole hungrily, he twirled it around and made his lover moan loudly. Zetsu was thinking, 'maybe now I can finish' but he was mistaken. Tobi started up again, "What movie should I get him Zetsu?"_

"_**That's it!" **_

_The man got off his lover, coming back a second later with a ball gag and Tobi stuttered, "Bu..But Zetsu…..Tobi trying to….mmmph!" _

_Gagging his lover Zetsu glided his erection inside with a satisfied murmur, "No more talking until I fuck you raw Tobi."_

* * *

Hidan and Kisame broke out in a fit of giggles as Deidara shook his head, "Why does that not surprise me un."

Kakuzu had to chuckle, "So you decided to shut him up as to not ruin your mood correct?"

**"Exactly, but at least we both felt better afterwards." **

Madara smirked at Tobi and asked, "Surely you won't let him tease you like that Tobi. Didn't Zetsu do something to you once?"

The boy nodded with a shudder, "It's too horrible to think about but Tobi will tell."

* * *

**TBC: hehehehe, I'm loving this XD**

**By the way, here's the definition for an angry dragon….I found it on Urban Dictionary:**

***Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.**

***While a girl is sucking you off, right as you are about to cum, you grab hold of her head and pull her mouth as far onto your cock as possible. She proceeds to gag from the cock unexpectedly being rammed down her throat, but since your cock is blocking her air passage, her cough (and your cum) exit through her nose. The cum dripping out of both of the girl's nostrils, resembles a dragon's snout - and after pulling a stunt like this, you can be sure she's going to be an angry one.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Zetsu and Tobi were heavily making out on the couch, grinding against one another and kissing like mad. Nothing could ruin this…..for so they thought._

_The bipolar man felt a burp coming but didn't disengage his mouth from his lover's, thinking he could hold it back. Well, he waited too long to act so it happened anyway._

_He let out a small burp and Tobi's eyes instantly shot open, pushing him back with disgust. "Zetsu!" _

_"I'm sorry Tobi, I didn't meant to."_

_The boy held his throat like it burned and coughed like crazy, "That was SO nasty!" __**"Oh come on, it isn't that bad!" **_

_"TOBI CAN TASTE IT! WHAT DID ZETSU EAT?"_

_Tobi wished he didn't say that and covered his mouth, his face turning a slight shade of green. He had a very good hunch to what his lover had eaten now._

"_Tobi going to be sick!" _

_He ran to the bathroom and shut the door, leaving Zetsu there sitting on the couch with a boner muttering, __**"Looks like no sex for us." **_

_"Poor Tobi."_

* * *

"That's fucking gross Zetsu!" "Damn, that is revolting un!"

The woman shuddered when a flashback hit her, "That's just as bad when I ate your _meat _sandwich by mistake." **"Hey, it's not like we did it on purpose."**

Madara cackled like mad and slapped his friend on the back, "Look on the bright side, at least nothing else came out."

There was a chorus of disturbed noises and shudders from the mere suggestion that Itachi shook his head, "If that had happened to me I would've banned him from kissing me for a week."

Kisame cocked a brow at his lover and smirked, "I hope not." Itachi grinned back, "I would, but at least he ate something...unlike you."

The shark groaned and buried his face in his hands, "Not that Itachi."

* * *

_Itachi and Kisame were on the verge of making love, fully in the nude and about to go to the main event when the raven heard a loud rumble. _

_Arching an elegant eyebrow at his lover he asked, "Was that your stomach?" Kisame nodded with a blush, "Yeah, I haven't eaten since our last mission." _

"_Do you want to stop?" "Hell no! I want you Itachi." _

_His lover smirked up at him and they proceeded. Kisame just entered his length inside his lover when the grumbling happened again._

_Both ignoring it, he began thrusting at a moderate pace but the rumbling just grew louder and more frequent. _

_Itachi tried to ignore it as best as he could but it was completely a nuisance now and he was losing his erection from irritation._

"_Stop Kisame." The shark reluctantly did with a whine, "Why did you want me to stop?" _

_Itachi gave his lover a stern look and ordered, "Go get something to eat."_

_His lover scowled but did as was told, pulling out and putting his pants back on. _

_Before leaving he peeked back around the corner with a hopeful question, "Want to continue when I get back?" _

"_No, the mood has passed."_

* * *

Kisame tried not to smirk from all the stares he was getting, but they all found it funny, even the shark himself.

Itachi patted his hand, "That _was _bad timing on your part."

Kisame turned to face his lover with an evil toothy grin, "Look who's talking Itachi."

* * *

_The shark was happily pounding away inside his raven, the tight walls against his cock felt so good. Ring~_

_Half-heartedly looking over towards the noise, he saw it was Itachi's cell phone but didn't care. Whoever it was would have to wait while he was having his alone time with his lover. _

_The raven however didn't seem to agree, he actually picked it up and answered it. "Hello Sasori." _

_Kisame could hear the puppet master on the other side but continued pumping at the same pace until Itachi impatiently motioned for him to slow down._

_Gritting his teeth angrily he growled while his lover kept right on discussing the next mission they were to take. _

_After ten damn minutes, Kisame was fed up! He pulled out and jerked his pants back on._

"_Hang on…..Kisame? Where are you going?" _

"_To get my release!" _

_Slamming the door shut behind him, he went into the bathroom to finish himself off solo._

* * *

Tobi tsked the raven, "Shame on you Itachi." Sasori smirked, "So that explains why Kisame kept glaring at me for those few days."

Kakuzu chuckled, "Kisame was right, you timed that terribly. At least with his cause he couldn't control it."

Itachi's cheeks turned pink and murmured, "True, but I did coax him back to me."

Kisame grinned and growled huskily, "Sexy little weasel."

Hidan laughed, "Ok ok, that's fucking funny but I want to fucking tell you what the old man did to me!"

The miser groaned but Olivia was excited, "I can't wait to hear this."

**TBC:**


	4. Chapter 4

_Hidan was horny as hell so when his lover came into their room, it wasn't a surprise that he got attacked by the priest._

"_Hi…Hidan?" "Just shut up and fucking kiss me!" Gaining dominance of the miser's mouth with his own, he pushed him onto the bed and straddled him._

_Pulling back just so he could undress his lover, Kakuzu tried to stop him. "Not tonight Hidan." The jashinist ignored him and jerked off his pants, "Why the fuck not?" "I'm exhausted that's why."_

_His excuse made his lover snort, but it didn't stop his intentions unfortunately. "Then just stay there and I'll fuck you then!" "No you will not!" "Then fuck me!" _

_The miser just glared but didn't budge an inch, "If you want it so bad then ride me." "WHAT?" "I said I'm tired so it's either that or nothing at all."_

_The priest thought about it and finally muttered, "Fine." _

_Hidan more or less was impatient and attacked his lover's groin, sucking at a rapid pace and making his lover grunt from the harsh sucking._

* * *

_Once he was fully hard and had the erection coated with saliva, Hidan placed the tip at his entrance, impaling himself slowly with low groans._

_Kakuzu had to admit he loved seeing Hidan do all the work for once, plus it felt nice for him, so much he closed his eyes and relaxed even more._

_The jashinist bounced away like no tomorrow, moaning like a needy slut (as Kakuzu would put it), before he leaned down and kissed his lover hungrily._

_There was something off once he did that; the miser didn't respond at all. Growling in frustration he made the kiss more fierce but nothing happened still._

_Stopping all movements Hidan sat there, still on the erection and crossed his arms with a childish pout. "Hey, old man! What fucking gives?" _

_His reply was a faint snoring that made his mouth drop, "He did NOT just fucking fall asleep on me!?" _

_He squeezed his lover's nipples, but that only made him grumble something under his breath, the miser still sleeping heavily. _

_Muttering many curses Hidan finally rolled his eyes, "Fuck it!" _

_He continued riding his lover happily until he found his release, purposefully covering Kakuzu's chest and face with his cum._

_Snickering, he got up and left, casting a quick glance at the brute and noticed he still had an erection._

"_I should finish him off but…..nahhhh. He won't fucking know the difference."_

* * *

Kisame and Madara howled with laughter and just had to tease the miser. "Well, looks like your age is finally catching up to you Kakuzu."

Madara grinned, "It won't be long before you can't _rise_ to the occasion."

Sasori even joined in, "What will Hidan and Olivia do now?"

Kakuzu gave them all evil glares and growled, "Keep it up and I will personally demonstrate what I can do for a long duration of time."

His threat made them shut up instantly for they knew that wasn't a bluff. Olivia cleared her throat, "Well, from what Kakuzu told me, he didn't get hardly any sleep for two days after that mission."

Deidara smirked, "I remember that, but Olivia, was there anything they've done to you in the bedroom that you didn't like un?"

The woman rested her chin on her hand and thought about it.

"Well, the only thing I recall is Hidan trying to be funny and slapped me in the face with his cock multiple times before he couldn't stop laughing. That lost the mood right there…..for me anyway."

* * *

Tobi couldn't hold his laughter in and neither could Zetsu. They could picture the jashinist doing it and getting off on it.

Kisame chuckled like mad but had ask, "So, what about Kakuzu?"

Thinking hard again Olivia smirked, "He made me cry."

Deidara had to practically sit on Tobi to keep him from getting up…they all know how he reacts when it's mentioned that someone made his precious Olivee cry.

Sasori grinned at her, "What did he do?" She sighed and gave her lover a look, "He brought out those painful toys and didn't take them off."

Madara cocked a brow, "Which toys?" "You know: clothespins on delicate areas, shoving the vibrator too far up both my areas, squeezing my breasts too tight with those threads of his…that stuff."

The miser frowned a little but it turned into a deep one when Hidan scolded him. "Fuck Kakuzu, what were you trying to do? You know how sensitive her skin is!"

Olivia waved her hand to get her lover's attention, "Calm down Hidan, he just wanted to try rough bondage sex with me and I did agree…..but it didn't work obviously."

"**That would be a given when she started crying from it, but at any rate, what about you Kakuzu? Did Hidan and Olivia do anything terrible to you?"**

The miser grumbled under his breath. "They both were a major pain, but Hidan's was the worst believe it or not."

"I believe it un."

"Shut up blondie!"

* * *

"_Come on Kuzu~ fuck me already!" The miser smirked at how needy Hidan was, flipping him over onto his stomach with a rough flip._

_He jerked up his hips and spread the flawless cheeks with his hands, ready to plunge in and devour the delectable quivering hole._

_Just as he was maybe an inch away, it happened, the most disgusting and worse thing he never thought would happen...to him at least._

_Hidan FARTED in his face….a silent and deadly one at that._

_Sitting back up with no expression whatsoever, the priest was blushing from embarrassment and yet trying to muffle his giggles. Of course he would find it funny._

"_Uh…sorry old man…hey! Hey! Ow!" Highly livid with his eyebrow twitching, the miser had dug his fingernails into Hidan's hips, hard enough to make him bleed. "Cut it out! I said I'm fucking sorry!"_

_Using his threads to bind the priest, Kakuzu crawled off the bed and came back with the chakra sealant handcuffs._

_Attaching them to his lover's wrists and the other pair to his ankles, he also grabbed the no release cock ring. _

_"Um…What the fuck are you doing?"_

* * *

_Kakuzu grinned maliciously and placed it on him, along with a normal vibrating cock ring and turning it on full blast._

_Groaning low Hidan writhed on the bed, jerking on his restraints but to no avail. His eyes grew wide when he noticed his lover wasn't through with him yet._

_The miser shoved a rather large vibrator up his ass with no lubrication, thus making the priest hiss in pain before it turned to a more vocal groan when it was turned on at top speed._

_Then came a pair of vibrating nipple clamps that he also attached, clamping them even tighter than usual. _

_Hidan was already writhing from this sexual abuse, he could feel his prostate being hit every time he wriggled and his erection was already in need to be released, but he could do nothing._

"_Ka…Kakuzu….don't fucking….do this."_

_Kakuzu chuckled evilly and placed the last item, a ball gag, into his lover's mouth to shut him up. _

_"This is for breaking wind in my face and having the gall to laugh at me. I'll come back for you in two hours."_

_Hidan yelled who knows how many muffled curses saying he better not leave him like that, but the miser left and headed straight to Olivia's room._

* * *

Hidan turned red with a mutter, "The bastard was fucking true to his word but by that point I thought I was fucking dead!"

Itachi shook his head sadly, "You brought that on yourself." Sasori nodded, "I couldn't agree more."

Kisame grinned, "I think you deserved it." "Fuck all of you!"

Tobi giggled and looked at the miser, "So, what did Olivee do that was so bad."

The woman turned white and hid her face in her arm as the miser merely gave her a glare.

Yep, she did something atrocious as well.

**TBC:**


	5. Chapter 5

_Hearing her moan and watching his small lover writhe in pleasure beneath him…..it was exquisite for the miser. It never gets old._

_She began moaning even louder when he began thrusting harder into her sweet spot. "Ka….Kah…oh….." He smirked at her flushed face, trying to call out his name but too breathless to let it out._

_Lost in her own little world she whimpered out again, "Yes….right there….ka…kisame." _

_The banker's movements came to a complete halt, which caused her to whine at the loss. _

"_Kakuzu? Wh…Why did you stop?" _

_He simply glared down at his lover before growling in a somewhat normal tone, "What the hell did you just say?"_

"_Uh, why did you stop?" "Not that! You called out a name."_

* * *

_ She pouted and murmured aggravated, "I said Kakuzu." Narrowing his eyes he shook his head. _

_Blinking several times she was confused but it hit her when he clarified, "You said Kisame." Her eyes went wide and bit her lip nervously. Yep, she was in trouble._

_Still frowning he pulled out, jerking his lover face down onto his lap and holding her down. _

_SLAP! _

"_OW!" The miser smacked his lover's behind with a growl, "What's my name?" "Kakuzu." "Again." _

_"Ngh…Kakuzu." "Again!" _

"_Ow…ow….Kakuzu!" He kept spanking and made her repeat his name many times until he felt she had enough; which was ninety slaps later._

"_One more time Olivia!" Sniveling and shedding more tears she whimpered, "Ka..Kakuzu~" _

_"Good, maybe now you won't make the same mistake again."_

_Tenderly placing her onto her stomach, feeling a tad bit guilty he made her cry, but this WAS punishment after all._

_Kissing her affectionately, he grabbed some ointment from his desk and tenderly rubbed it on her sore behind. _

_She muttered into the pillow, "Jerk."_

* * *

Pretty much, everyone's mouths were hanging wide open in shock, all except for Kisame who was smiling.

He just jerked the blushing woman onto his lap and purred, "I had no idea you thought I was better in bed than Kakuzu."

The miser just snarled, "Watch it Kisame!" Zetsu smirked, "That appears to be the case."

"Why did Olivee call out Kisame's name?"

The woman just buried her face into the shark's neck and muttered, "I have no clue. I didn't even realize it until he told me."

Deidara giggled, "Well, both their names do start with a K un."

Madara tried not to laugh anymore than he was, what with Kakuzu glaring at the entire table with that 'if you say another word I'll destroy you all' look.

* * *

Well, everyone had told their worst sex experiences. All except Madara who didn't really have a partner, so they didn't make him pay toll for not sharing.

After a few minutes, Sasori suddenly got an evil grin plastered on his face when something came to mind.

"Would anyone care to hear about an interesting recording I found not too long ago? Mind you, it's definitely _not_ a bad sex experience."

"What is it Danna un?" Hidan snorted, "I think you fucking mean _who's_ _in_ it blondie."

The red head just flat out told them, "Lexy."

Itachi arched his brows in shock, "Lexy? How recent is this video? She hasn't been here for a while now."

The puppet master chuckled, "Apparently she was and I found a rather delicious scene."

Hidan and Kisame were practically on the edge of their seats begging, "Tell us Sasori!" "I want to fucking know what she did!"

"**Knowing her, Lexy's hormones were probably in overdrive for much needed attention."**

Kakuzu groaned, "She's always up to no good."

* * *

**TBC: Next chapter is last one.**

**Get ready for highly detailed smut! XD**


	6. Chapter 6

Sasori simply stood from the table with a chuckle, "This would be better seen not told. Come into the living room."

The men all ran in there, fighting over the couch and loveseat to get the best view for the TV, eager to watch the porn…..at least that's what they hoped it would be.

The red head came back with the video as Madara asked, "How _did_ you stumble across this video before we start?"

Said man shrugged, "I got lucky. I was merely going through all the footage and deleting the discs so I could reuse them again, but _this_ caught my eye. Naturally I had to keep it."

Tobi giggled, "To add to your collection." He smirked and put the disc in, but didn't start it yet.

"Where's Olivia?" Deidara pointed at Hidan, who had a possessive hold on her with an evil smirk.

The priest chuckled, "She tried to escape for some reason. Why is that babe?" She just blushed with grumble as Sasori mused, "I know why and she has an idea no doubt to what this is."

Without a further ado, the puppet master pressed PLAY.

* * *

_Olivia was sleeping peacefully; unaware of someone sneaking over to her bed like a cat stalking it's prey._

_The teen gently pulled back the covers, grinning like a Cheshire cat with anticipation for what she was about to do. _

_She gently shook her friend awake, who just groaned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, "What?" "Rise and shine sleeping beauty."_

_Yawning she looked up to see a certain brunette looming over her. The blue orbs shot open in shock, "Lexy?" "The one and only, now be still." "Huh?"_

_Without warning the teen straddled the woman, pinning her arms above her head with ease before whipping out a pair of handcuffs from her back pocket. _

"_WHAT THE HELL KIND OF WAKE UP CALL IS THIS?" Cuffing the petite woman with ease she chuckled, "The best kind….my pet."_

_Olivia was actually terrified at this point and that psychotic look on the teen's face didn't help neither. "Wh…What are you going to do to me?"_

_Giggling she just pressed her finger on the trembling lips to shush her friend, "You'll see."_

_She glided her nimble hands up the woman's shirt, pulling it over her head so the bountiful breasts could be exposed. "Um…Lexy?" _

_The brunette silenced her with a smoldering kiss, sucking on her bottom lip harshly to gain access into that delicious warm cavern. _

_The teen gripped the back of the other female's neck, forcing her to meet her lustful kisses with more vigor and she finally participated, though weakly._

_Lexy took that moment to caress the already perky buds, rubbing her thumbs over them before pinching. Olivia whimpered, and even more when the kiss was disengaged so the teen could suck on them._

* * *

"_Ah…ah….Lexy!" _

_She bit onto the sensitive bud before twirling the tip of her tongue over it, followed by tenderer suckling that made the woman moan softly. Giving the same treatment to the other, she fondled the supple breasts and pressed them together to reveal more cleavage. _

_Breathing heavily, the feisty brunette quickly slid her crush's shorts and panties off, before stripping her own clothes off eagerly._

_Crawling back onto the bed she forced Olivia's legs apart before leaning down with a lustful smirk. Curious, she glided a finger across her entrance, finding it already nice and moist for her….but it needed to be wetter for what she had in mind._

_She licked so painfully slow across the bundle of nerves, making the woman arch her back and whimper all the more. Deciding that was enough torture after a few minutes, she pressed and sucked harder and earned a lovely mewl of pleasure._

_Lexy had to grasp her thighs firmly to keep them apart as her orgasm grew near. Chewing on her lower lip Olivia cried out on pleasure when she reached her peak, her body writhing on the bed and making the teen growl from the heated anticipation._

_Licking her lips and savoring the sweet taste, she crawled on top of the woman with a seductive purr, "Now now pet, you can't have all the fun." Taking hold of her own breasts she pressed them against the vulnerable woman's lips with an order, "Suck it." _

_Opening her mouth slightly, Olivia flicked the tip over the sensitive bud with her tongue for her morning attacker, before suckling on it like she was told._

_The horny brunette mewled softly and moaned, "Harder and use your teeth." _

_Complying, the woman nibbled affectionately and sucked more before switching to the neglected bud and gave it the same treatment._

* * *

_Lexy grew impatient, ready to get to the main event since they both were practically soaked in their own fluids. Chuckling evilly, she hopped off the bed with a single leap, hastily pulling out the item she had been dying to use on the woman._

_Trying to gain her wits about her, Olivia managed to glance over and see her friend putting on a strap-on. When Lexy crawled onto the bed the woman gasped, "Wait! No…not that Lexy."_

_The teen just chuckled, "Mmmhmm, it's ribbed alright and it'll feel good. Besides, that's not all it does."_

_The vicim shook her head frantically as the toy was gently glided inside her, but that's all the mercy the teen was going to give regrettably. _

_The beyond turned on teen began fucking the hell out of her friend, causing her to cry out each time loudly from both pain and pleasure._

_Those cries soon turned into screams when she turned on the special addition…the vibrations. Still trusting like a wildcat in heat, she leaned down and devoured her prey's mouth, leaving a string of saliva attached when she pulled away._

_Olivia whimpered like crazy, "Lexy!...please…..please….ah…nyah…." "That's it….scream….oooh…..my name." _

_Shifting her angle and striking her sweet spot dead on the woman couldn't stop herself from screaming out Lexy's name in sheer ecstasy. _

_Both girl's covered in a thin line of sweat, the teen muttered, "Damn it…I'm gonna…nyah...c..cum….OLIVIA!" Her friend followed suit with another cry of the teen's name, both writhing in bliss before the teen fully collapsed on her bitch._

_Panting heavily Lexy had to chuckle, "And you call me horny, you came at least three times." Barely able to speak the woman mumbled, "Well, you wasn't the one that had that toy inside you." _

_They both dozed off for maybe a half hour before Lexy feebly looked at the clock. "Well, looks like I have to go." _

_Weakly getting off the bed, she headed to the bathroom and cleaned herself and the toy off, before coming back with a washcloth to do the same to her friend._

_Finally taking the cuffs off, muttering 'fuck' when she saw how red Olivia's wrists were from trying to break free; she dressed her friend and kissed her tenderly with an apology. _

"_I'll be back before you know it. Sleep well." _

_She spoke too soon, the woman was fast asleep from pure sexual exhaustion so the teen giggled and left with her as quietly as she came._

* * *

Sasori turned the disc off and the entire room was filled with nothing but an ominous, lustful, heavy breathing.

Olivia's face was just as red as the puppet master's hair, biting her lip to keep herself quiet again.

Kisame already had a nosebleed, as did Tobi and Deidara. Madara, Itachi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu's face's were flushed. Hidan however was just downright horny.

"No words could even describe how hot that was." Itachi nodded, "I couldn't agree more Kisame."

Tobi started fanning himself before looking over, "Olivee! Why didn't you tell Tobi about this? Olivee?"

The woman was whimpering softly and Kakuzu cocked a brow at his other lover, "Hidan, what are you doing to her?"

The priest just grunted huskily, "Nothing you wouldn't do." **"Don't tell me you fondled her the entire time watching the porn!?"**

Hidan chuckled, "So what if I fucking did? I couldn't control myself!"

He scooped his lover up and headed towards the bedroom with a low moan, "I'm going to fuck you and make you scream bloody murder babe."

The miser instantly jumped up and hastily made his way to join in.

Madara just shook his head, "At least that explains everything." "What does un?"

* * *

The elder raven just smirked, "Lexy had called me that morning, wanting to know Kisame's number since it got deleted from her phone by accident. I told her you all were out on missions that morning and it did make me wonder why she seemed so keen about getting the details of your return."

"So, Loo-Loo just took that opportunity to get Olivee in bed with no interruptions?" Itachi grinned, "That appears to be the case."

Kisame chuckled, "That's my kitten for you."

Madara glared at the shark but Deidara interrupted him by pushing past him to get to his lover. "Come on Danna un."

Sasori just smirked, "What is it Dei?" The blonde merely gave him a seductive look and the red head didn't hesitate to leave without a word.

Zetsu laughed and asked, "Despite you horny lot, I'm curious to where she got that new toy." Tobi sat on his lover's lap and purred, "Tobi don't know but right now don't care." **"No, don't give me that look Tobi."**

Kisame just stood up and grabbed his lover's hand, "Just fuck him Zetsu!"

Itachi grinned as he was lead to the bed as well, leaving Madara sitting there muttering, "I have an aching problem that needs to be dealt with too you know."

The raven was shocked when Zetsu suddenly scooped him over his shoulder as Tobi led them back to their apartment.

"**I'm in the mood for double penetration so I can fix that for you."**

The elder licked his lips and growled with pleasure.

This game was more fun than they all thought possible.

*Elswhere, a certain brunette just now finally stopped sneezing her brains out.

Frustrated she muttered, "By this constant sneezing a LOT of people must have been talking about me!"

* * *

**FINISH! **

**Hope everyone enjoyed the smut XD **

**Review please :3**


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